I really should write more.   I like to write, but have no discipline to do so.   Or, maybe just that I don't feel like anyone is reading so I have lost my motivation.   Or maybe, I am just too dang tired after school to think.   But, I suppose those are just excuses. I should write more.  Especially since I teach writing classes!  

You only get it if you live here! 

Life in Russia is just like this!!

1. You carry a plastic shopping bag with you at all times.
2. You think twice about throwing out that empty jar.
3. When you cross any street, you sprint.
4. In winter, you choose your route first by determining which icicles are least likely to fall and impale you on the head.
5. You are impressed with the latest model of Lada.
6. You hear that it is just at or below freezing outside, and you think it might be a pleasant day for a change.
7. You win a shoving match with an old Babushka for a place in line, and you're proud of yourself.
8. You hesitate to put on your seat belt to avoid offending the taxi driver or the impending 5 minute explanation of why you'd even wear one.
9. You're shocked when there is toilet paper in the public restroom.
10. You look at people's shoes to determine where they are from.
11. Your day seems brighter after seeing a goon's Mercedes run into by a pensioner's "Moskvitch''.
12. You are thrown off guard when your dezhurnaya (concierge) is happy to see you.
13. You wonder what the tax inspector means when he says that everything is in order.
14. You plan your visa trips around those times of the year when they turn of the hot water.
15. You're offended when anyone gives you a 'dozen' roses.
16. You no longer notice the Sony sticker on the front of your TV, the Panasonic sticker on your refrigerator, the Samsung sticker on your stereo......
17. You are relieved when the guy standing next to you on the bus actually uses Kleenex.
18. You ask for no ice in your drinks.
19. You develop a liking for beets or cabbage...or both!
20. You wear a wool hat in the sauna.
21. You consider hot dogs a breakfast food item.
22. You start shopping for products by the country of production.
23. It no longer seems strange to publicly relieve yourself.
24. The question, "Would you like fries with that?" is replaced with, "Would you like bread with that?"
25. You go to a restaurant and play with the kitchen cat.
26. You have finished an entire plate of meat product and not once questioned its origin.
27. You buy a name-brand product and are shocked to discover that it is genuine.
28. You no longer notice the 17 different patterns in your living room.
29. You are thrilled to find a full-sized dinner napkin on the table.
30. You use a single Ziploc bag more than 10 times.
31. You consider grocery shopping to be a full contact sport.
32. You are elated if you fit a set of sheets AND a towel into a washing machine.
33. It seems normal to seat 12 dinner guests around a coffee table.
34. You voluntarily drink kefir.
35. You look both ways before crossing a sidewalk.
36. You change into tapichki (slippers) and wash your hands as soon as you walk into your apartment.
37. You have to check your passport for an arrival-in-Russia date.
38. "Remont" (repair), shkaf (wardrobe), "produkti" (grocery store) and smetana (sour cream)  become an integral part of your vocabulary.
39. You speak to other expats in your native language, but forget a few of the simplest words and throw in some Russian ones.
40. You can heat water on the stove and shower with it in less than 10 minutes.
41. You catch yourself whistling indoors and feel guilty.
42. When the word 'salad' ceases for you to have anything to do with lettuce.
43. You are no longer surprised when your taxi driver tells you that before Perestroika he worked as a rocket scientist.
44. When you start wishing that airline captains would learn how to pronounce Domodedovo or Sheremetova - or when you, yourself can finally pronounce  "Noviecheryomushkinski Ulitsa"" properly
45. When someone back home asks you how you are and you reply,  "I am normal"

You know you've been in Russia too long when you really start to understand what these words mean:

"Умом Россию не понять,
Аршином общим не измерить:
У ней особенная стать -
В Россию можно только верить."

and the impossibility to translate it in English.